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The worst night of my life


#1

Some days i feel like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky.

I hate this disease, and yes i do truely believe hairloss is a disease. While not all hairloss victims suffer, a disease is listed as an abnormal condition of an organism that impairs bodily functions, and causes discomfort, dysfunction, distress and social problems. And my fellow hairloss victims can check all of the above.

Last year, my ex girlfriend broke up with me after 4 years together. I honestly believe that it was due to my hairloss and her viewing me as becoming less attractive, I admit my confidence was slipping and i was going through a rough stage in my life, along with other issues in the relationship of course. She used to poke fun at me about it but i figured she didn’t really mind. However i guess i was wrong. I thought about it, and i really didn’t want to marry someone who would treat and or do that to another human being so that is the way i deal with it mentally. I am okay with it and at peace, I accept the fact that she was not the one for me, and I was better off without her in my life.

Ahh the single life. The single life for a 23 year old balding male is a task. The social scene for people my age consists primarily of people socializing at bars and such. So i tried it. But i soon gave up, I guess i just totally lost all of my confidence, which can be hard when you are trying to talk to a girl and all you can see and feel are her eyes creeping up to your receeding hairline! and then back down to your mouth, back up to your hairline and back down to your mouth. You start to wonder if she is really even listening to you, then before you even finish the conversation you just give up. I guess we live in really materialistic times, but this is the environment we are placed in, i didn’t ask for it to be this way. Trying to find a mate who really cares for you and accepts you for YOU can be hard these days i take it?

Well i’m not the suicidal type, although i have thought about it for a few minutes. I figure I’ll stick around because it can only get better right? Well i typically feel better about myself and life in general when i try to change the things around me that i don’t like. Thats one thing i believe in, Life is what you make it. I dont care for my crooked teeth so i thought that it would give me a little more confidence if i got braces to straighten them out (invisalign). I started excersizing and eating healthy consistantly. I also started making plans to head back to College and finish up my degree. I follow the HM forums every now and then (trying not to be obsessed with this site) and after some research i decided to give finasteride a try in an attempt to keep whatever hair i have left until the day HM may arrive.

I feel better about myself in general but every week is still an emotional roller coaster. Then out of nowhere i meet this awesome girl. I find her really attractive and she has all of the qualities that i look for in a woman. I’ve been talking to her for the past two weeks and things were going along smoothly, I invited her over lastnight to watch some movies (23 and apocolyptic). The movies are over and we start making out, i didn’t think this would happen but she really wanted me, so i took her to my room and we continued kissing and such. We are all adults here right? Because thats when it happened. Noodle D-i-c-k. Fucking 4 months of Finasteride. I could not get an erection to save my life. This was the most embarassing night of my life, and pretty much sums up the story of my life. I played it off and told her that it was because i really like her and i was just nervous. I tried to not make a big deal about it and she said not to worry about it. But you all know that it is stressing me out. I hope to tell her soon about the drug i am taking but honestly i prefer to forget about it all.

This is why i hate the current available hairloss products in this industry, they are all shit. Ever feel like you are sticking your thumb in a leak at the dam? Hairtransplants suck, topicals suck, and so does finasteride. Anyone who tells you there are no sides is lying or just too ignorant to notice them. I think my Hairloss is going to drive me insane, to the point where i just shave my head everyday and become a miserable fuck until i forget that i ever even had any hair at all. maybe then i will be happy and go on living my life like a normal person. BTW i have shaved my head before and i look hideous. But i’m not giving up, i just wish these Tissue engineering companies would man up and realize that it is unethical and cruel to play with peoples emotions, (misleading timelines) although Intercytex as a company is pretty honest. I won’t give up, i will move on… But there is still hope that one day this cloud will be lifted from my head, and from young people’s, old people, male, female alike. Maybe one day I will see you all at the party and meet everyone, have a few drinks, a good laugh and forget about all of this shit.

Im out.


#2

Minitor, I completely understand what you’re going through. I’m on propecia right now, and yes I know what it’s like to have “noodle dick”. And I know what it’s like to have the “forehead eye crawl”. And I know what it’s like to go to a HT doc and have them push their strip surgery. And I know what it’s like to be single on the dating scene yet bald-ing. And yes I’ve shaved my head before as a “test run” and suffice to say, although they were nice about it, more than a few told me I looked like an AIDS patient. So that is why I’ve been haunting these forums… I work online so it gives me something to do in between writing/researching…

I wanted to add something more though… we are VERY lucky to be young and balding at this time.

  1. Aderans and Intercytex have human trials, and as much as many complain, they are working diligently on finding a cure for this disease. Yes, there are hurdles, but they have made a lot of progress over the past decade.

  2. Another company, Follica, is just now forming and will be working on another approach to baldness. There are also two companies in Japan in the earlier stages of research.

  3. There are several good online websites where you can find cheap, realistic wigs – like the kind that Brendan Fraser, Ben Affleck, and Billy Bob Thorton wear. These can provide a temporary solution until HM rolls around. Many, many people are happy from this option. Check out the public hair loss forum at toplace.com, for example.

I would mention the advances HT but that is not a wise option, IMHO, unless you want a 14 inch strip. And even with FUE keep in mind you always have fewer total hairs after HT. Oh, and it’s also really f**king expensive. And finally the results will nearly always be disappointing, and if they’re not then you’re going to get hired as a salesman for the HT industry, which under such conditions I’d have to kill myself.


#3

hey man i feel you EXACTLY…i have hope that HM or something better will come along and then…party time.


#4

» hey man i feel you EXACTLY…i have hope that HM or something better will
» come along and then…party time.
I’m with you guys. . .I share the feeling.

hard to say but. . . cheer up!


#5

yes I roughly agree as well though I’m not much confident about HM, whether release date, feasibility, or hair amount problems it poses.
Two points I disagree about. First is “topicals fuck”. No, I don’t think they really do. Combining essential oils, 15% minox twice a day, Nizoral, vegetal oils like amla, coconut, may and do help many of us, including me. Vitamins, fish oils, flax lignans, green tea etc… team up as well to bring about a slight improvement that adds up to the one obtained with topicals. The whole regimen is sure hell but…
Finasteride is often the most potent actor. It is, in my case. But 1mg daily proved far too weak and my ideal dose is around 3.5 - 4 mg daily. But the dick gets limp with 2mg… or even less… In fact, I believe, as Brian said it some years ago that the side effects of fin (or anything else) come up as the primary effect of the drug kicks in. those who report no sides from fin probably get an only placebo effect from it on hairloss and could surely do without the stuff. And those sides are of two categories: a) free testosterone boosted (happy sides) b) free testoterone depleted… And I, as too many of us, man the second category…
Second point: girls. No, girls aren 't obsessed with hairloss. I really believe they don’t care from the moment they believe they are with the right guy. Lately, I was chatting with a 21 Y.o girl I’d got acquainted with. I felt she found me quite attractive (just as one of my friends confirmed to me later on) and I explained to her I was taking an unhealthy med (fin) for my hair’s sake and since I am quite outspoken, I told her I was worried by the hormonal consequences of that shit. A bit surprised, she replied that even with a bald scalp, my head would still be that fine… And I really believe she was sincere. And many other examples of the kind… Last of all, I can’t believe that a guy that works out reasonably and has a healthy diet can look like a scrappy loser because he’s got a "zero shaved " bald head. No hair at all is better than not all hair in many cases.


#6

Minitor,if you are in a position where you can actually go to bars & talk to women then you should be very grateful & take advantage of it.Thanks to strip surgery I haven’t been to a bar/club in 10 years.I haven’t had a conversation with a woman let alone shagged one in 10 years.Conversations with women on forums are the most “action” I have seen in 10 years.
My advice,drop the meds,cut your hair short & wait for HM.
I know it pisses people of when I say this but try talking to a shrink about your hair loss.My mother suggested the same thing when I was a balding TEENAGER & I was very offended by her suggestion.If I had listened to her instead of having surgery you guys wouldn’t have to put up with my endless grief day after day.
Believe me,once you get a girlfriend who doesn’t care about your hair loss you wont have any hang-ups about your hair loss either.Her love will teach you to accept yourself & you will walk around without a care.Even if that relationship ends she would have made you realise that your hair loss is meaningless.
You are in the best years of your life,you should be with girls & your friends every night of the week,don’t waste your life because of hair loss. It’s not worth it.


#7

Man as you age you will find women are more and more accepting of some recession, trust me on that. Many of the clubbing lads you party with now will be losing hair in about five or six more years…and a great deal of them will be by 35 or so.

Id’ cut my hair short if I were you…and I’d probably use a peptide up there to keep my scalp looking young and keep it in the best condition possible for HM, ACELL, Folica or whatever comes down the pike. Work out, read and try and learn about subjects that have always interested you, get financially ahead, get scholastically ahead. Dont let her make you mope for six months. Set goals, write them down, and work towards them every day. There will be another woman someday whom you will get along with much better and there wont be constant friction between the two of you and you will have a happier, less stressful relationship. Hopefully a real countermeasure to baldness will come and you will have all of this with a great head of hair to boot.


#8

I dealt with it four years ago by shaving my head after wearing a rug for 12 years. I was amazed at how many women find me attractive with a bald head. Even girls as young as 18 and I’m 42.
Get your body in shape, fake a tan (don’t sunbathe. It just makes your skin wrinkle and makes you look old) and carry yourself with confidence. Look people in the eyes and smile. If you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it.
Intercytex are the cavalry. And they’re thundering towards us.
Chin up m8.


#9

I think my Hairloss is going to drive me insane,
» to the point where i just shave my head everyday and become a miserable
» fuck until i forget that i ever even had any hair at all. maybe then i
» will be happy and go on living my life like a normal person. BTW i have
» shaved my head before and i look hideous.

I went from getting a lot of girls to absolutely none because of my hair loss.

I used have girls begging me to go out with them. Now? Absolutely nothing.

Sorry, guy, but it is only going to get worse. The more hair you lose the less women who will be attracted to you.

It’s sad, but true.

Every day of my life I wish I was never born. I would NEVER want to have lived the life I lived. Balding at 14 is a fate no one should have to endure.

HM isn’t coming for many years. So don’t pin your hopes on it.

Here’s to an early death!


#10

» 1. Aderans and Intercytex have human trials, and as much as many complain,
» they are working diligently on finding a cure for this disease. Yes, there
» are hurdles, but they have made a lot of progress over the past decade.

No, Aderans isn’t doing JACK SHIT for research. They’ve not done a single thing for years but talk about what they might do.

What have you been smoking?


#11

Three things:

  1. Aderans is now conducting Phase I human trials. They’ve been doing this for 14 months now. They have released no information on these trials. Not surprising given they have all the funds they need from Aderans in Japan.

  2. They have patented a 3-D matrix to keep both responder and inducer cells clustered. By using both cells hair follicles will form every time.

  3. Aderans’ Annual report announces a preparing a timeframe for commercialization in 2009.

Sure, Aderans is not progressing as fast as I’d like. But they have made some progress, much farther than most.

All the best,
BB

» No, Aderans isn’t doing JACK SHIT for research. They’ve not done a single
» thing for years but talk about what they might do.
»
» What have you been smoking?


#12

Ironically, I get more girls now that I’m shaved bald. It’s only myself who has a problem with being bald.
I’d still rather have hair. But I also look great without.


#13

makes it hard to pick up a chick with a slick scalp. I date fat chicks now. alec


#14

aw man, noodle dick, thas the worse. we have all had that at some point and it sucks. thats one of the reasons i only stayed on fin for like 2 weeks. screw that.

the truth is the women who are “less” shallow are older. definitely not in their early 20’s unless you just look good with a bald head.

if you look better with short hair i advise you cut it. less maintenance. but yea man, at the end of the day, hair matters. period.

there’s a shortage of women who give a shit about inner beauty. a hot chick once told me “No girl wants a guy that nobody else wants.” seems to be the truth so far…especially in the 18-35 age range.

on top of all that you/we need confidence. hard to do that when you look in the mirror and look 5 to 10 years older than what you are.


#15

I can’t stand it when women look at photos of me and ALWAYS ask – “How long ago was that taken?” 2 years ago!! Why you asking? Or I hate it when I tell somebody my age and they say, almost as if surprised: “You’re young!” So yeah, balding makes you look older and being older is less attractive (very well-controlled studies showing this for both men and women). And let me ask you this: have you EVER seen a photograph of somebody with/without hair and they have looked LESS attractive with hair? I’ve always seen people look much, much better with hair. And while yes of course women want inner beauty – but you have to get an audition first, which usually lasts 1-6 months. And how do you pass the audition? Ya gotta look good, including having a decent hairline. And btw, you can NEVER show a lack of confidence. In other words, you can’t tell women how it’s really like. Ok, enough ranting… HM is coming in 5 years…


#16

Women at your age are very looks oriented, quite frankly they have not sown their wild oats much like most men, and they are too young to marry at that age as are most men

Ask a 21 yr old woman what she wants in a guy…nice smile, nice body, good in bed, makes me melt when he looks at me, etc etc etc

Ask a 34 yr old woman what she wants in a man
Faithful , hard working, respects me, and is not selfish and has time for me, shares the same interests, likes jazzz music etc etc

notice the difference in the mindset of the two women
The older woman has had the pretty boys, and she has decided it means nothing, she has been cheated on, lied, to. had her heart broken, been sponged off of by losers who are going nowhere with no job no car, etc

they wise up and look at whats really important
I know you think she left you because of your hair, perhaps this is true, if it is you dont need her, she is a loser…


#17

» aw man, noodle dick, thas the worse. we have all had that at some point and
» it sucks. thats one of the reasons i only stayed on fin for like 2 weeks.
» screw that.
»
» the truth is the women who are “less” shallow are older. definitely not in
» their early 20’s unless you just look good with a bald head.
»
» if you look better with short hair i advise you cut it. less maintenance.
» but yea man, at the end of the day, hair matters. period.
»
» there’s a shortage of women who give a shit about inner beauty. a hot
» chick once told me “No girl wants a guy that nobody else wants.” seems to
» be the truth so far…especially in the 18-35 age range.
»
» on top of all that you/we need confidence. hard to do that when you look
» in the mirror and look 5 to 10 years older than what you are.

That’s what I’m trying to say! Hair doesn’t REALLY dictate how old you look. I’m slick bald and look younger than guys who ARE younger than me with a full head of hair.
The general rule is that if being bald makes you look older, then if you get your hair back you’ll STILL look older but with hair.
It’s the lines on your face and your texture of skin that people use as a marker to determine your age.
I’m 42, look after my body, don’t sunbathe and I use copper peptides on my face. I don’t have wrinkles but I do have very faint laughter lines around the eyes.

As for ‘no girl wants a guy that nobody else wants’ you are absolutely correct.
The trick is to become the guy that all the girls want. Male confidence is sexy to a female, they can smell it a mile off. On a subconscious level.
But they can also smell low self esteem and lack of confidence. Total turnoff to women. How can you protect her if you won’t even look people in the eye?
I don’t like being bald. But at the moment, I’ve no choice. So I walk into that room with my head held high, oozing confidence and smiling. Conveying the message that I’m the guy that all the girls want.
Do it well enough and the girls actually buy into your little world; on a subconscious level. They’re attracted. They don’t know why, but they are.


#18

.
»
» there’s a shortage of women who give a shit about inner beauty. a hot
» chick once told me “No girl wants a guy that nobody else wants.” seems to
» be the truth so far…especially in the 18-35 age range.

I think peer pressure plays into this to a great extent, particularly w/young women. Even tho a girl, left entirely to her own preferences, might be inclined to be happy with a particular guy who is nudging up the NW scale, there’s this added element: The average young woman is not secure enough in herself to want to be known (by her female peers) as “The one who’s dating the BALD guy.” And that’s exactly how women DO talk about each other! So, it’s a real factor.


#19

I don’t like being bald. But at the moment, I’ve no choice. So I walk into
that room with my head held high, oozing confidence and smiling.
Conveying
the message that I’m the guy that all the girls want.
Do it well enough and the girls actually buy into your little world; on a
subconscious level. They’re attracted. They don’t know why, but they are.

I agree!

I shave my hair down with balding clippers,grade 0.

I’m a cocky confident Great British Market trader selling clothes to women.In other words I charm them in a cocky confident manner to buy off me.I’m also very confident at pitching goods,too.

Its easy to be confident.I’m one of the lads at work,with or without hair.No one ever comments really do they,if they did,just laugh it off.

Wear nice clothes,get a tattoo or something.Give yourself a confident appearance,perhaps,it might help!

Take a look around your not alone!


#20

» I feel better about myself in general but every week is still an
» emotional roller coaster. Then out of nowhere i meet this awesome girl. I
» find her really attractive and she has all of the qualities that i look
» for in a woman. I’ve been talking to her for the past two weeks and things
» were going along smoothly, I invited her over lastnight to watch some
» movies (23 and apocolyptic). The movies are over and we start making out,
» i didn’t think this would happen but she really wanted me, so i took her
» to my room and we continued kissing and such. We are all adults here
» right? Because thats when it happened. Noodle D-i-c-k. Fucking 4 months of Finasteride. I could not get an erection to save my life. This was the most
» embarassing night of my life, and pretty much sums up the story of my life.
» I played it off and told her that it was because i really like her and i
» was just nervous. I tried to not make a big deal about it and she said not
» to worry about it. But you all know that it is stressing me out. I hope to
» tell her soon about the drug i am taking but honestly i prefer to forget
» about it all.

I’ve been on propecia for just over a year now.The early period was exactly the same.Erection problems.I stayed on propecia.My body over come the problem after a few months.I’ve no problem now.So perhaps give it time.