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What to do?


#1

I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in October. I have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me, namely in another country. We have been talking to each other over chat, phone and everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first time. I have buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not comment anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding girl. And then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she wrote: honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But she said that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she told me she wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it goes.
So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair loss and she said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel she would be mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m kind of afraid of that.

Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel down and have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question whether I should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or wait for some medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys me is this secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost considering contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if based on their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something better? Since I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of this, it destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?


#2

Striver:

I don’t know about the girl in another country thing. I hate to say it to you, but relationships like this rarely go anywhere and it is only my opinion that you are wasting your time. As for your hair, have you tried any non-surgical treatments (i.e. topicals or drugs)? I would hate to see you jump into transplants at such a young age when you have not exhausted other options. If the reason you are thinking about transplants has anything to do with this girl, I strongly suggest that you rethink it. I hope things work out for you.

For questions and information about transplants, see the Hair Transplant Forum on this site.


#3

about this girl: dont travel to her, there are so many girls, why travel to a girl in another country, which you dont really know?

and about a transplant or wait: that you have to decide on your own. but dont do a transplant for the girl!


#4

» And
» then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she wrote:
» honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But she said
» that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.

based on that comment alone, dump her !


#5

More you fall in love, less chances she’ll as well.


#6

Why dump her over that? It’s not like he would have liked it any better if he’d been lied to. It’s like a girl asking whether or not she looks fat.

The hair isn’t insurmountable, but it’s not irrelevant either. You’d still have her if she was all yours beforehand. The hair will cost you the girl if she was on the fence.


#7

» More you fall in love, less chances she’ll as well.

From your description the most likely scenario is tha you will screw it up and fall into long lasting depression & obsesion with this girl who will first try to stay your friend then she’ll finally realize and start avoiding you.

I mean really. The guys are right. There are millions of girls in your country. Thinking that this one is special is nuts.

I tell you what. You just idealized her. This is normal whenever human brain suffers from lack of information and is even worse when it comes to relationships. Ppl are always making themselves to look better. She had and because you desperately want this to happen, you have added whole lot in your mind as well.

You are falling in love with someone you made up in your mind.

The only fast cure is to get her known very closely. Unfortunately, this wont happen because she wont allow it. You will freak her out. You will start obsessing about her and that will scare her off. So your future is 2 years of nice depression. I mean I’m so f*cking glad I lived through this at the age of 15 so I dont have to again :slight_smile:

Again. The truth is, more you fall in love and start obsessing with the girl, more likely you will freak her out.


#8

» Why dump her over that? It’s not like he would have liked it any better if
» he’d been lied to. It’s like a girl asking whether or not she looks fat.
»
»
»
» The hair isn’t insurmountable, but it’s not irrelevant either. You’d
» still have her if she was all yours beforehand. The hair will cost you the
» girl if she was on the fence.

Yeah, that’s what I also think. No I have not tried any other options. Not Propecia, Rogaine, none of those drugs, mainly because I am afraid of the side effects. I just wish some of these companies could at least tell when we could hope their product would be out. Some actually tell that, but some don’t. And the most interesting, in my opinion, Follica, doesn’t want to tell that.

Well the hair transplant would be maybe in part for her and in part for future girls if nothing works out between me and this girl. But I really don’t know if that is the optimal thing to do right now, since as I can see, and others too, there is apparently a lot of interesting research going on about hair now. So what if really Follica or someone else succeeds soon? I mean, just the knowledge that they have succeeded would have made my EXTREMLY happy, since I know then that even if it won’t be out in 2-3 years because of some regulations (if any), it still works and will one day give me back my hair. Do you think this argument will be enough for some Follica representative to give me a hint on how promising their product is? :slight_smile:


#9

» » More you fall in love, less chances she’ll as well.
»
» From your description the most likely scenario is tha you will screw it up
» and fall into long lasting depression & obsesion with this girl who will
» first try to stay your friend then she’ll finally realize and start
» avoiding you.
»
» I mean really. The guys are right. There are millions of girls in your
» country. Thinking that this one is special is nuts.
»
» I tell you what. You just idealized her. This is normal whenever human
» brain suffers from lack of information and is even worse when it comes to
» relationships. Ppl are always making themselves to look better.
»
» You are falling in love with someone you made up in your mind.
»
» The only fast cure is to get her known very closely. Unfortunately, this
» wont happen because she wont allow it. You will freak her out. You will
» start obsessing about her and that will scare her off. So your future is 2
» years of nice depression. I mean I’m so f*cking glad I lived through this
» at the age of 15 so I dont have to again :slight_smile:
»
»
» Again. The truth is, more you fall in love and start obsessing with the
» girl, more likely you will freak her out.

Haha, nice analysis debris. I appreciate your comments :-). All of your comments guys, it really makes me feel better. I am happy that you are answering me, and giving your honest opinion on this, it really makes me feel better.

No but really, I know a lot about this girl, she has told me basically everything about her life. Really cute and honest girl. And yeah, I am idealizing her a bit I think, but it is also the fact that I would really like to have a girl this nice and understanding. But yeah now when I think about it, as you have said, there ARE many girls that are nice. But the thing is that, because of my hairloss I feel that I won’t get so much opportunities as I got before for example. So I have to clench for these girls which whom I have come “far” with. We have really shared a lot of private things between us. But now she tells me some guys would like to meet her and stuff, and that she would like to see me first. But I feel that, traveling that far, meeting her, even if I know she is nice and doesn’t seem shallow at all, and then maybe getting rejected since those other guys also are nice to her, but they have a full head of hair. That would be REALLY depressing. I’m afraid of that scenario as hell.


#10

» I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in October. I
» have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me, namely in
» another country. We have been talking to each other over chat, phone and
» everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first time. I have
» buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not comment
» anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding girl. And
» then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she wrote:
» honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But she said
» that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
» But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she told me she
» wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it goes.
» So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so
» unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair loss and she
» said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel she would be
» mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m kind of
» afraid of that.
»
» Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel down and
» have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question whether I
» should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or wait for some
» medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys me is this
» secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost considering
» contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if based on
» their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something better? Since
» I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of this, it
» destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?

if you can afford it and have the time i guess go see her but do not get your hopes up…just go for a visit, and see how it goes

lets say it goes well, then what? she moves to your country or vice versa?


#11

» » Why dump her over that? It’s not like he would have liked it any better
» if
» » he’d been lied to. It’s like a girl asking whether or not she looks
» fat.
» »
» »
» »
» » The hair isn’t insurmountable, but it’s not irrelevant either. You’d
» » still have her if she was all yours beforehand. The hair will cost you
» the
» » girl if she was on the fence.
»
» Yeah, that’s what I also think. No I have not tried any other options. Not
» Propecia, Rogaine, none of those drugs, mainly because I am afraid of the
» side effects. I just wish some of these companies could at least tell when
» we could hope their product would be out. Some actually tell that, but some
» don’t. And the most interesting, in my opinion, Follica, doesn’t want to
» tell that.
»
» Well the hair transplant would be maybe in part for her and in part for
» future girls if nothing works out between me and this girl. But I really
» don’t know if that is the optimal thing to do right now, since as I can
» see, and others too, there is apparently a lot of interesting research
» going on about hair now. So what if really Follica or someone else succeeds
» soon? I mean, just the knowledge that they have succeeded would have made
» my EXTREMLY happy, since I know then that even if it won’t be out in 2-3
» years because of some regulations (if any), it still works and will one day
» give me back my hair. Do you think this argument will be enough for some
» Follica representative to give me a hint on how promising their product is?
» :slight_smile:

when guys say why dump her over that…err you do not have her yet to dump, you just talked to some girl online…its not like ur dating or something


#12

» » » Why dump her over that? It’s not like he would have liked it any
» better
» » if
» » » he’d been lied to. It’s like a girl asking whether or not she looks
» » fat.
» » »
» » »
» » »
» » » The hair isn’t insurmountable, but it’s not irrelevant either. You’d
» » » still have her if she was all yours beforehand. The hair will cost
» you
» » the
» » » girl if she was on the fence.
» »
» » Yeah, that’s what I also think. No I have not tried any other options.
» Not
» » Propecia, Rogaine, none of those drugs, mainly because I am afraid of
» the
» » side effects. I just wish some of these companies could at least tell
» when
» » we could hope their product would be out. Some actually tell that, but
» some
» » don’t. And the most interesting, in my opinion, Follica, doesn’t want
» to
» » tell that.
» »
» » Well the hair transplant would be maybe in part for her and in part for
» » future girls if nothing works out between me and this girl. But I
» really
» » don’t know if that is the optimal thing to do right now, since as I can
» » see, and others too, there is apparently a lot of interesting research
» » going on about hair now. So what if really Follica or someone else
» succeeds
» » soon? I mean, just the knowledge that they have succeeded would have
» made
» » my EXTREMLY happy, since I know then that even if it won’t be out in
» 2-3
» » years because of some regulations (if any), it still works and will one
» day
» » give me back my hair. Do you think this argument will be enough for
» some
» » Follica representative to give me a hint on how promising their product
» is?
» » :slight_smile:
»
» when guys say why dump her over that…err you do not have
» her yet to dump, you just talked to some girl online…its
» not like ur dating or something

Haha yeah, exactly :slight_smile:


#13

» » I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in October. I
» » have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me, namely
» in
» » another country. We have been talking to each other over chat, phone
» and
» » everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first time. I have
» » buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not comment
» » anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding girl.
» And
» » then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she wrote:
» » honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But she
» said
» » that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
» » But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she told me
» she
» » wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it goes.
» » So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so
» » unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair loss and
» she
» » said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel she would
» be
» » mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m kind of
» » afraid of that.
» »
» » Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel down and
» » have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question whether I
» » should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or wait for
» some
» » medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys me is
» this
» » secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost considering
» » contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if based on
» » their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something better?
» Since
» » I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of this, it
» » destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?
»
» if you can afford it and have the time i guess go see her but do not get
» your hopes up…just go for a visit, and see how it goes
»
» lets say it goes well, then what? she moves to your country or vice versa?
Well I don’t know, she could move to my place yeah. I mean I have a nice life here, with a nice job and everything. So probably she would move here. I mean, she said that she likes me, my personality etc., but you know how it is with girls.


#14

» » » I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in October.
» I
» » » have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me, namely
» » in
» » » another country. We have been talking to each other over chat, phone
» » and
» » » everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first time. I
» have
» » » buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not comment
» » » anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding girl.
» » And
» » » then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she
» wrote:
» » » honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But she
» » said
» » » that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
» » » But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she told me
» » she
» » » wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it goes.
» » » So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so
» » » unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair loss and
» » she
» » » said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel she
» would
» » be
» » » mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m kind
» of
» » » afraid of that.
» » »
» » » Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel down
» and
» » » have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question whether I
» » » should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or wait for
» » some
» » » medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys me is
» » this
» » » secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost considering
» » » contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if based
» on
» » » their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something better?
» » Since
» » » I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of this,
» it
» » » destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?
» »
» » if you can afford it and have the time i guess go see her but do not
» get
» » your hopes up…just go for a visit, and see how it goes
» »
» » lets say it goes well, then what? she moves to your country or vice
» versa?
» Well I don’t know, she could move to my place yeah. I mean I have a nice
» life here, with a nice job and everything. So probably she would move here.
» I mean, she said that she likes me, my personality etc., but you know how
» it is with girls.

i would not get my hopes up

i actually did what you are doing but, I made 6 visits over 2 yrs and spent about 6 months in the other country…then moved there. u cant make up your mind about someone in a week visit, you dont know them well enough

may i ask your age or her age


#15

» » » » I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in
» October.
» » I
» » » » have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me,
» namely
» » » in
» » » » another country. We have been talking to each other over chat,
» phone
» » » and
» » » » everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first time. I
» » have
» » » » buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not comment
» » » » anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding
» girl.
» » » And
» » » » then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she
» » wrote:
» » » » honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But
» she
» » » said
» » » » that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
» » » » But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she told
» me
» » » she
» » » » wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it
» goes.
» » » » So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so
» » » » unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair loss
» and
» » » she
» » » » said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel she
» » would
» » » be
» » » » mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m kind
» » of
» » » » afraid of that.
» » » »
» » » » Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel down
» » and
» » » » have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question whether
» I
» » » » should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or wait
» for
» » » some
» » » » medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys me
» is
» » » this
» » » » secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost
» considering
» » » » contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if based
» » on
» » » » their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something
» better?
» » » Since
» » » » I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of
» this,
» » it
» » » » destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?
» » »
» » » if you can afford it and have the time i guess go see her but do not
» » get
» » » your hopes up…just go for a visit, and see how it
» goes
» » »
» » » lets say it goes well, then what? she moves to your country or vice
» » versa?
» » Well I don’t know, she could move to my place yeah. I mean I have a
» nice
» » life here, with a nice job and everything. So probably she would move
» here.
» » I mean, she said that she likes me, my personality etc., but you know
» how
» » it is with girls.
»
» i would not get my hopes up
»
» i actually did what you are doing but, I made 6 visits over 2 yrs and
» spent about 6 months in the other country…then moved there. u
» cant make up your mind about someone in a week visit, you dont know them
» well enough
»
» may i ask your age or her age
I am 24, 25 in October. She is 23, two years younger than me.


#16

» » » » » I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in
» » October.
» » » I
» » » » » have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me,
» » namely
» » » » in
» » » » » another country. We have been talking to each other over chat,
» » phone
» » » » and
» » » » » everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first time.
» I
» » » have
» » » » » buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not
» comment
» » » » » anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding
» » girl.
» » » » And
» » » » » then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she
» » » wrote:
» » » » » honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair. But
» » she
» » » » said
» » » » » that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
» » » » » But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she
» told
» » me
» » » » she
» » » » » wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it
» » goes.
» » » » » So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so
» » » » » unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair loss
» » and
» » » » she
» » » » » said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel
» she
» » » would
» » » » be
» » » » » mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m
» kind
» » » of
» » » » » afraid of that.
» » » » »
» » » » » Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel
» down
» » » and
» » » » » have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question
» whether
» » I
» » » » » should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or wait
» » for
» » » » some
» » » » » medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys me
» » is
» » » » this
» » » » » secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost
» » considering
» » » » » contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if
» based
» » » on
» » » » » their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something
» » better?
» » » » Since
» » » » » I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of
» » this,
» » » it
» » » » » destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?
» » » »
» » » » if you can afford it and have the time i guess go see her but do
» not
» » » get
» » » » your hopes up…just go for a visit, and see how it
» » goes
» » » »
» » » » lets say it goes well, then what? she moves to your country or vice
» » » versa?
» » » Well I don’t know, she could move to my place yeah. I mean I have a
» » nice
» » » life here, with a nice job and everything. So probably she would move
» » here.
» » » I mean, she said that she likes me, my personality etc., but you know
» » how
» » » it is with girls.
» »
» » i would not get my hopes up
» »
» » i actually did what you are doing but, I made 6 visits over 2 yrs and
» » spent about 6 months in the other country…then moved there.
» u
» » cant make up your mind about someone in a week visit, you dont know
» them
» » well enough
» »
» » may i ask your age or her age
» I am 24, 25 in October. She is 23, two years younger than me.

if you have yahoo messnger u can look me up
i will send a pm with my id


#17

» » » » » » I really don’t know what to do guys. I’m 24 years old, 25 in
» » » October.
» » » » I
» » » » » » have met a really nice girl that lives a bit far away from me,
» » » namely
» » » » » in
» » » » » » another country. We have been talking to each other over chat,
» » » phone
» » » » » and
» » » » » » everything, and now yesterday we used webcam for the first
» time.
» » I
» » » » have
» » » » » » buzzed my hair to 0 basically, and she saw that but did not
» » comment
» » » » » » anything, which I expected since she is a really understanding
» » » girl.
» » » » » And
» » » » » » then as a joke I mentioned: I am nicer with hair right? And she
» » » » wrote:
» » » » » » honestly, you are. She saw some old pictures of me with hair.
» But
» » » she
» » » » » said
» » » » » » that she thinks I’m fine now too etc.
» » » » » » But now it seems some other guys are chasing her too, but she
» » told
» » » me
» » » » » she
» » » » » » wants to wait for me, to first hang out with me and see how it
» » » goes.
» » » » » » So I am considering traveling there and meeting her, but I’m so
» » » » » » unconfident because of the hair. I told her that I have hair
» loss
» » » and
» » » » » she
» » » » » » said “oh ok, that’s nothing”. Really understanding. But I feel
» » she
» » » » would
» » » » » be
» » » » » » mine with certainty if I had hair, now it’s a big bet, and I’m
» » kind
» » » » of
» » » » » » afraid of that.
» » » » » »
» » » » » » Okey I don’t know why exactly I wrote this, maybe cause I feel
» » down
» » » » and
» » » » » » have to share my feelings. But what bugs me is the question
» » whether
» » » I
» » » » » » should go for a hair transplant (I’m basically NW 3 now) or
» wait
» » » for
» » » » » some
» » » » » » medications to come up in the next 2 years. What really annoys
» me
» » » is
» » » » » this
» » » » » » secrecy of Follica and these other companies. I am almost
» » » considering
» » » » » » contacting them and telling them my situation. Asking them if
» » based
» » » » on
» » » » » » their results, I should go for a HT now or wait for something
» » » better?
» » » » » Since
» » » » » » I feel I might miss out on many nice people in life because of
» » » this,
» » » » it
» » » » » » destroys my confidence. What do you guys think?
» » » » »
» » » » » if you can afford it and have the time i guess go see her but do
» » not
» » » » get
» » » » » your hopes up…just go for a visit, and see how it
» » » goes
» » » » »
» » » » » lets say it goes well, then what? she moves to your country or
» vice
» » » » versa?
» » » » Well I don’t know, she could move to my place yeah. I mean I have a
» » » nice
» » » » life here, with a nice job and everything. So probably she would
» move
» » » here.
» » » » I mean, she said that she likes me, my personality etc., but you
» know
» » » how
» » » » it is with girls.
» » »
» » » i would not get my hopes up
» » »
» » » i actually did what you are doing but, I made 6 visits over 2 yrs and
» » » spent about 6 months in the other country…then moved
» there.
» » u
» » » cant make up your mind about someone in a week visit, you dont know
» » them
» » » well enough
» » »
» » » may i ask your age or her age
» » I am 24, 25 in October. She is 23, two years younger than me.
»
» if you have yahoo messnger u can look me up
» langitmike
I’m sorry, but I only have MSN messenger. You have that?


#18

you said you think you wont get many opportunities with girls coz of your hairloss…thats bs. you will get opportunities. believe me!


#19

» you said you think you wont get many opportunities with girls coz of your
» hairloss…thats bs. you will get opportunities. believe me!

are you the girl ? … just kidding ! :smiley:


#20

» » you said you think you wont get many opportunities with girls coz of
» your
» » hairloss…thats bs. you will get opportunities. believe me!
»
» are you the girl ? … just kidding ! :smiley:
hahahah :smiley: That was a good one :slight_smile: