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The deals we make with ourselves


#1

Hello,

I’ve been lurking on these boards for a long time.

I honestly feel that my hair loss has destroyed my self esteem and thus has ruined my life somewhat. People tell me to just try to forget about it, that people don’t care if i’m balding or not - but I’m just not that strong. I also suffer from mild social phobia and I’m starting to think this is the main reason. I feel pretty confident about myself otherwise.

I started receding in about 10th grade. By the time I was 24 there was nothing I could really do with my hair except to cut it short. I wasn’t thinning in the crown or on top, but my temples were receded badly. I probably should’ve tried Propecia years ago, but I thought it was risky and didn’t want to be dependent on pills my whole life.

I’ve recently come into some money from selling a condo and something that had always seemed to out of reach is now a possibiltiy - a hair transplant!

I know that I’ll probably continue to lose hair, but I make deals in my head: go for it, get the transplant, and even if you lose more hair, at least you’ll get 2-3 years of your life back. If I’m going to be bald anyway, why not try to be happy for a short while. Who knows, maybe Propecia will even extend that a few more years.

I am realistic in my goals, I think: I don’t want to lower my hairline, I just want to thicken what I already have, and fill in my temples a little. That will at least give me the ability to wear different hairstyles - long, short, dry, gelled, etc.

Did anyone else have a similar though process when deciding to go through with the procedure? I’m going bald anyway, I might as well try and re-capture my life now, and deal with whatever mess my hair turns into, later. I even think that in 5-6 years time there might be new advances that will extend out donor supply, in which case you will just need more surgeries, but will never run out of hair.

Sigh. Comments welcome!


#2

How old are you now? Can you upload some pictures?

Cutting your hair short is always an option. Always natural and hassle free.


#3

» How old are you now? Can you upload some pictures?
»
» Cutting your hair short is always an option. Always natural and hassle
» free.

Shaving your hair off is also a good option,always natural and really hassle free.It took me along time to get the balls up to do it,but I actually prefer it to having a thinning/balding look.

I’m now in my mid fourties,which makes it more acceptable.How old are you?


#4

» Hello,
»
» I’ve been lurking on these boards for a long time.
»
» I honestly feel that my hair loss has destroyed my self esteem and thus
» has ruined my life somewhat. People tell me to just try to forget about it,
» that people don’t care if i’m balding or not - but I’m just not that
» strong. I also suffer from mild social phobia and I’m starting to think
» this is the main reason. I feel pretty confident about myself otherwise.
»
» I started receding in about 10th grade. By the time I was 24 there was
» nothing I could really do with my hair except to cut it short. I wasn’t
» thinning in the crown or on top, but my temples were receded badly. I
» probably should’ve tried Propecia years ago, but I thought it was risky and
» didn’t want to be dependent on pills my whole life.
»
» I’ve recently come into some money from selling a condo and something that
» had always seemed to out of reach is now a possibiltiy - a hair
» transplant!
»
» I know that I’ll probably continue to lose hair, but I make deals in my
» head: go for it, get the transplant, and even if you lose more hair, at
» least you’ll get 2-3 years of your life back. If I’m going to be bald
» anyway, why not try to be happy for a short while. Who knows, maybe
» Propecia will even extend that a few more years.

»
» I am realistic in my goals, I think: I don’t want to lower my hairline, I
» just want to thicken what I already have, and fill in my temples a little.
» That will at least give me the ability to wear different hairstyles - long,
» short, dry, gelled, etc.
»
» Did anyone else have a similar though process when deciding to go through
» with the procedure? I’m going bald anyway, I might as well try and
» re-capture my life now, and deal with whatever mess my hair turns into,
» later. I even think that in 5-6 years time there might be new advances that
» will extend out donor supply, in which case you will just need more
» surgeries, but will never run out of hair.
»
» Sigh. Comments welcome!

I have a comment. If you want to be happy and positive and get out of your depression and low self esteem, why not start by changing your user name? “Lifeequalsruined”?!? How can you expect to have a positive life when you embrace negativity so much you actually choose negativity for a user name?

This might seem off topic, but it is NOT. Good/bad hair aside, we have to take responsibility for ourselves as individuals. Its like people who watch the news every night before they go to bed and they can’t figure out why they have so much fear in life.

Hairloss or not, start making an effort to invite something positive in your life instead of embracing the negative. Hairloss is small in comparison to major challenges life presents. You can learn to handle it all and still be happy, but you have to make some basic choices.

However, it is good that you are reaching out for support on these forums. There are probably many things that you will find that could help with your hairloss.


#5

»
»
» I have a comment. If you want to be happy and positive and get out of
» your depression and low self esteem, why not start by changing your user
» name? “Lifeequalsruined”?!? How can you expect to have a positive life
» when you embrace negativity so much you actually choose negativity for a
» user name?
»
» This might seem off topic, but it is NOT. Good/bad hair aside, we have to
» take responsibility for ourselves as individuals. Its like people who
» watch the news every night before they go to bed and they can’t figure out
» why they have so much fear in life.
»
» Hairloss or not, start making an effort to invite something positive in
» your life instead of embracing the negative. Hairloss is small in
» comparison to major challenges life presents. You can learn to handle it
» all and still be happy, but you have to make some basic choices.
»
» However, it is good that you are reaching out for support on these forums.
» There are probably many things that you will find that could help with your
» hairloss.

Excellent post.


#6

I think we all feel you and ve been through what you are going through. My only promise is that as time goes by you will feel better and wont care as much as you do know.You have to find the best solution that suits you from research in forums and real life examples…some are good candidates for a transplant some will only find freedom by buzzing their hair short. you had some good advice allready from the people who answered before.

Just a word of caution because you are now on the desperate phase and some might try to take advantage of this, NEVER listen to salesmen or people that try to sell their doctor to you with praise stories.They usually come with supposedly caring advice but they always mention their doctor and how amazing he is even though you never asked lol. you need to find people that make sense, that talk of the positives and the negatives of HT and dont sound like informecials.

You have to find your own way in here and what is good for you. You have to learn who to trust and you have to do your own research, these forums can save you from bad decisions or doom you sometimes if you listen to the wrong people.


#7

» Hello,
»
» I’ve been lurking on these boards for a long time.
»
» I honestly feel that my hair loss has destroyed my self esteem and thus
» has ruined my life somewhat. People tell me to just try to forget about it,
» that people don’t care if i’m balding or not - but I’m just not that
» strong. I also suffer from mild social phobia and I’m starting to think
» this is the main reason. I feel pretty confident about myself otherwise.
»
» I started receding in about 10th grade. By the time I was 24 there was
» nothing I could really do with my hair except to cut it short. I wasn’t
» thinning in the crown or on top, but my temples were receded badly. I
» probably should’ve tried Propecia years ago, but I thought it was risky and
» didn’t want to be dependent on pills my whole life.
»
» I’ve recently come into some money from selling a condo and something that
» had always seemed to out of reach is now a possibiltiy - a hair
» transplant!
»
» I know that I’ll probably continue to lose hair, but I make deals in my
» head: go for it, get the transplant, and even if you lose more hair, at
» least you’ll get 2-3 years of your life back. If I’m going to be bald
» anyway, why not try to be happy for a short while. Who knows, maybe
» Propecia will even extend that a few more years.

»
» I am realistic in my goals, I think: I don’t want to lower my hairline, I
» just want to thicken what I already have, and fill in my temples a little.
» That will at least give me the ability to wear different hairstyles - long,
» short, dry, gelled, etc.
»
» Did anyone else have a similar though process when deciding to go through
» with the procedure? I’m going bald anyway, I might as well try and
» re-capture my life now, and deal with whatever mess my hair turns into,
» later. I even think that in 5-6 years time there might be new advances that
» will extend out donor supply, in which case you will just need more
» surgeries, but will never run out of hair.
»
» Sigh. Comments welcome!

because,the trouble with hair transplants is that there are too many people
saying “the trouble with hair transplants is…

even hairtech says “Yes there are tons of sucking up people and what not. But there are a few clinics that actually care. And some of these clinics want to HT to progress forward”

Do the math,by deduction.Then,ask your self do you want to give such organisation chance to mold your future.I say,accept what now bothers you,ignore the baldnes.If you can’t ignore it,laugh at it,if you can’t laugh at it,keep lurking.


#8

»
» I know that I’ll probably continue to lose hair, but I make deals in my
» head: go for it, get the transplant, and even if you lose more hair, at
» least you’ll get 2-3 years of your life back. If I’m going to be bald
» anyway, why not try to be happy for a short while. Who knows, maybe
» Propecia will even extend that a few more years.

I can completly understand where you are coming from. I was in the same exact situatiuon as you were 3 years ago, I was very depressed about my hair.

My first procedure was three years ago and I now have a full head of hair, I feel great.

You should come up with a long term plan as well as a short term one.


#9

Life, I honestly felt the same way. When my hair started to shed I started to lose my self confidence i hardly went out with friends and worried on how others look at my balding.

I cannot express to you how happy I felt when I went for my first FUE procedure with Dr. Armani…I was so eager it felt like a revenge with my hair loss battle.

Honestly my decision to have a transplant was one of the best decisions that I made for myself. Dr. Armani completely changed my life and my life style. I havent felt this way for a long time. I am a completely new person with a different attitude.

My advice to you is to go with it we spend our money on stupid things on daily basis but now your spending the money on yourself something that will change you for the rest of your life.

Good Luck


#10

lifeequalsruined,
various people might be advising you to “Go For It” (for whatever reason), however, as Hairsite has said, you have not mentioned how old you are and what your current loss is ?

I am not against HT’s but I am glad at 28 I did not decide to “Go For It” as a NW5 because I was unluckily one of those people that progressed to NW6/7 with miniaturisation in the donor area (I think this happens a lot more than is suggested on most sites).

Admittedly I did not use Propecia but ‘usually’ the effect of Propecia wears off after 10 years or so, if it works at all. If I had decided to “Go For It” back then I would have been f"""""d by now :slight_smile:

By the way, before you start Propecia check out www.Propeciahelp.com - now these problems only happen to a minority - but anybody who tells you most people get ZERO side-effects with Propecia would in my view be giving a very cavalier opinion.

Take your time - do LOTS of research - preferably for a full year (yes, I know you think that is a loooong time - it isn’t for an HT :slight_smile: ).


#11

Thanks for the comments everyone!

I will be 32 years old this coming April. I’m going to try and post some pictures so you can see the place I’m coming from.


#12

lifeequalsruined,

I can definitely relate to where you are coming from. I started losing my hair at a young age, 21 and was extremely self conscious. I would go back and forth from feeling embarrassed to being depressed. I slowly started distancing myself from my friends and family. I would feel uncomfortable going to certain functions where I could not wear a hat. The day I scheduled my HT, age 24, was the best day of my life. The dark cloud hanging over me was lifted. I recently turned 29 and I have not looked back since my procedure. I have had a successful sales career and formed many great relationships along the way. This can be directly related to gaining my confidence back since my HT and I can truly say my life would not be what it is today if I didn’t have the procedure. I know you have not posted pictures yet but I would be interested to see them. Take a look at my transformation in my blog below. Dr. Armani did a great job. Keep your head up and know that there are options for you out there to overcome this roadblock. Let me know if I can help answer any questions you may have.


#13

I was exactly where you were once. I was also depressed because I began losing my hair and with it my self esteem, personality and identity.

Although we all know that it is only hair and we should continue to live life and be happy because it is only a minor detail…some guys can just never get over it. I think this is especially true in younger men losing their hair, they feel and look young still but are getting beat by genetics at an early age.

The best advice I have for you is to go get a consulatation with Dr. Armani at one of his clinics. The first step and most important is making the appointment. I was in your shoes a few years back and going to meet with him and his staff was the best decision I ever made.

Check out my pictures in my journal. It’s been about a year now and I am a different person. I honestly can say my life has been changed in a great way. If you have any questions I’d love to answer and help out with any support.

Good luck.


#14

I first want to say that there is a great posting below which is right on the money:-
“Hairloss or not, start making an effort to invite something positive in your life instead of embracing the negative. Hairloss is small in comparison to major challenges life presents. You can learn to handle it all and still be happy, but you have to make some basic choices.”

Basically, hair loss is only one part of your overall appearance, it is also not a disease, no more than having freckles or a mole on your chin. Nobody every died of baldness, but admittedly a few people have felt like it!

The second thing to say is that in your 30’s the worst is over, you got through the difficult years in your 20’s unscathed. The rest is easier because people expect a significant number of people in their 30’s and 40’s to have a degree of hairloss.

The important thing is not to become your hairloss, you have to remain ‘you’. If your hair loss bothers you it will affect your confidence and that will be picked up by others - you will probably then blame your hair loss instead of the fact that this is the message you radiating to others.

The first thing to do is to do something positive, be good at something, build up an area of expertise and let people start noticing and respecting you, because plenty of positivity will overcome that negativity of hair loss.
Read this article which is very good:- http://www.prohairbiosystems.com/store/Looking-Good-And-Feeling-Good/ which is giving reinforcing advice to the quote above from another contributor.

You also need to think about a hair transplant if it worries you so much, but pick a really good surgeon, or you can end up looking worse! An obvious hair transplant is much worse than no hair! You can also consider hair loss treatments while you are waiting for your hair loss which can be a combination of medication such as Minoxidil with a suitable hair loss shampoo to conserve the hair you have.

It sounds like you are allowing the hair loss to consume you, whereas most people probably don’t even notice your hair, they just see the whole person.


#15

» I have a comment. If you want to be happy and positive and get out of
» your depression and low self esteem, why not start by changing your user
» name? “Lifeequalsruined”?!? How can you expect to have a positive life
» when you embrace negativity so much you actually choose negativity for a
» user name?
»
» This might seem off topic, but it is NOT. Good/bad hair aside, we have to
» take responsibility for ourselves as individuals. Its like people who
» watch the news every night before they go to bed and they can’t figure out
» why they have so much fear in life.
»
» Hairloss or not, start making an effort to invite something positive in
» your life instead of embracing the negative. Hairloss is small in
» comparison to major challenges life presents. You can learn to handle it
» all and still be happy, but you have to make some basic choices.
»
» However, it is good that you are reaching out for support on these forums.
» There are probably many things that you will find that could help with your
» hairloss.

Can I just compliment you…this is beautifully written and extremely well constructed as well as giving good advice.


#16

Not only did i feel the same way but my story is documented in pretty extensive detail … take a look for yourself my friend …

http://www.hairsite.com/hair-loss/board_entry-id-54155-page-5-category-2-order-last_answer-descasc-DESC.html

& my FULL WEBSITE … http://www.hairsite.com/hair-loss/board_entry-id-56783-page-5-category-2-order-last_answer-descasc-DESC.html

One of the main things i remember going through was seeing as how no matter what anyone said about what TO or NOT TO place importance on (ex; looks, weight, hair, income earned, car driven … etc…) it NEVER HELPED.

I dont need hair to operate but I LOOK BETTER. I FEEL BETTER.

I dont need my Mercedes SUV but I LOVE TO DRIVE, I LOVE THE FEELING (an a-b car doesnt do it for me)

I dont NEED TO LIVE ON THE WATER… but its something that inspires me EVERYDAY TO MOVE FORWARD. At 28 when I drive out my driveway everyone around my is a millionare, I like that inspiring feeling ( we are products of our environment, i feel inspired to push forward everyday when i see my neighbor waxing his prized Lamborghini Muira.)

All we really need in life on a basic level is food, shelter and clothing. But to get by EVERYDAY in this world some of us in order to be on the top of our game have to be happy ALL AROUND, physically and mentally.

With my HT and my experience with the Armani group I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY I WAS.

Im in the film/music business and being around people is a main part of my newer business model. And i remeber B4 my HT how I was on the verge of losing EVERYTHING.

I never wanted to leave the studio, never wanted to socialize, ALWAYS WORE HATS, never dressed up because a HAT WONT WORK, it was depressing.

Now some of you may say that hair was NOT MY PROBLEM and you are partially CORRECT.

However the way I felt when I looked in the mirror was incredibly painful. I just looked TERRIBLE.

Now im not a hypocrite to sit here and tell you I am STRONG and mentally who needs hair its whats on the inside that counts …

I get and always got my strength from my looks. Not neccesarily because im Brad Pitt, but because my confidence, my charm, my charisma towards men and women, kids and businessmen, EVERYONE, stemmed from my confidence which in my case I got from the way people saw me physically.

When I lost that… I noticed serious problems…

Weight gain out of control, ZERO SOCIAL ABILITIES, no motivation, tired all the time etc, etc …

Thats what it was FOR ME. I dont judge anyone but thats what it was FOR ME.

After my HT… man o man…

Its like someone turned on the lights after being in darkness forever…

I COULDNT STOP SMILING. I never wanted to be in… always out (even with my BLUE MED CAP ON !!!.. ok i told people it was from minor brain surgury to get some sympathetic glaces i must admit LOL)

I closed more contracts WITH THE MED CAP ON that I did since I opened my buisness.

Then for the first time in about 4 years…

I put on a suit. I felt incredible. I felt indestructable. I felt like me.

And for whatever reason it happened… I closed (about 3 months later) a 50 milliuon dollar feature film to do all the voice over work.

This was not just the largest contract my company ever saw, but since then, it pales in comparision to where we are as a company.

Some haters TRIED to say how this could of still happened WITHOUIT my HT, but i NEVER GAVE UP FIGHTING MY POINT.

In MY CASE, FOR ME, not anyone else… it was the start of the rest of my life… I was REBORN.

And on a side note, the service as you all know from my posts taht i receieved from the Armani organization was SO INSPIRING that I left feeling incredible.

As an artist being exposed to all his beautiful art in this cleanly designed office added to my REBORN feeling.

It was a surreal experience and even today I still feel on top of the world…

As ove ALWAYS SAID on this forum … its NOT ABOUT THE HT, but what the HT does to your soul.

Thats my take my friend… Do with it as you wish

Godspeed my friend

Cheers

MoM


#17

lifeequalsruined How is your research going these days??