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O.K Here\'s an analogy


#1

I started a thread bellow which ESSENTIALY just asked surgeons what percentage of patients had poor results. Most replies said that the question was unfair because no studies had been done / it is all subjective / the patient don’t keep in contact etc etc. This really annoyed me and I think it paints an utterly pathetic picture of the HT industry. I was quite insulting (justifiably I think) and I want use an analogy to explain where I am coming from.

This analogy does not work on almost any level but it does make you think about what we accept from these pathetic surgeons. I wish they were forced to read this and at least recognise the point.

Scenario 1:
I answer a lonely hearts advertisement and get through to an agency. I am arranging to see a girl and they are pretty defensive since they want their client to be happy. They ask me things like do you have good and bad days / how many girls that you meet are disappointed by you all that stuff.
I answer; well it depends what you mean I have never thought of it like that. I guess it depends on what a girls expectations of me are or what they want. Maybe I am deluding myself but I think that I am quite popular. Let me meet her and see how it goes.

Scenario 2:
I like the idea of becoming a professional gigolo so I find some photos of myself that look pretty good and put an advert in the press and charge $30000 for a night out. I get a call from an agency that has some lonely (rich) women looking for a good time and to feel good about themselves. The agency asks me all the same questions, how many girls that you meet are disappointed by you, is your performance consistent, all the same stuff. I give the same answers like. “I never thought of it”, “It depends what you mean”, “it depends what they are expecting”. The person on the other end of the phone says. “Your charging $30000 for a night out you idiot, stop wittering on and give us a straight answer to a straight question, what percentage of women don’t get what they want or are disappointed you pathetic bastad, what planet are you on”


#2

» I started a thread bellow which ESSENTIALY just asked surgeons what
» percentage of patients had poor results. Most replies said that the
» question was unfair because no studies had been done / it is all
» subjective / the patient don’t keep in contact etc etc. This really
» annoyed me and I think it paints an utterly pathetic picture of the HT
» industry. I was quite insulting (justifiably I think) and I want use an
» analogy to explain where I am coming from.
»
Marco. I know where you are comming from because I felt the very same way fustrated at all different opinions that I would recieve in over 15 or so consoltations . What I feel about hairloss boards is it is a good starting point to see some of the work that is out there and to most important to try and communicate offline if possible with the patients who have had positive results. While I don’t blame you for not liking the idea that the docs do not answer specific questions everytime a poster throws one at them. In my opinion they should be in doing surgery and not allways on the internet. If you are considering a certain doc just save your most important questions for the consults. Most docs will be availiable for at least a phone consult after viewing your fotos and like I said after you been in contact with a decent amount of former patients that are willing to share there results than you can be on your way to a descsion. And most important make sure the doc himself will have patients availiable. Good luck on your research.


#3

Best advice,just don’t start the process.You can’t win !
There are many factors working against us when we try to stop our hairloss by meds.
There are many factors working against us when we try to “restore” our hair through surgery.The skill of the doctor isn’t enough.Your body has a mind of it’s own,you cannot control what your genes do or how your body heals.
My thoughts are biased because I was butchered and cannot find a solution to my problem but I really feel utterly helpless in regards to restoring hairloss or stoppig baldness.I really feel that there is nothing you can do.There are far to many horror stories then there are positive ones when it comes to surgery.
You just have to let nature take it’s course.If you have issues with baldness you don’t need meds,you don’t need surgery,you need a shrink.
Flame me all you want,but this I am giving it to you straight up,no b.s
There is nothing wrong with being bald.Don’t wait until you are a mangled mess like me to realise this.


#4

Thanks for the thoughts from both of you. Damon, I hate getting off topic on the forum but I understand were YOUR coming from. What do you think of the video on the hairsite home page (the Farrel hair system video). If what you say is true then isn’t that a way forward especially if HT is not an option and prior scars mean that you can’t easily just go with it. Good luck mate.


#5

I tried a wig before I had surgery,I felt like a fraud.It was also very uncomfortable.Then there was the constant stupid fear that people would find out.Pathetic ! Wigs are no longer an option for me because of the scaring in the donor area.
My only real solution is suicide & that will probably happen by the end of this year.Proscar has stopped working for me so I am balding again.Avodart isn’t available in my country & I don’t feel comfortable taking it when it isn’t FDA approved.The phase 3 trials end at the end of this month,if it’s approved I’ll try that,maybe that can Stabilize my hairloss & Stabilize my need to take my life.
But for the moment,I am balding at a very fast rate,I can’t handle it.
I have had enough.


#6

» I tried a wig before I had surgery,I felt like a fraud.It was also very
» uncomfortable.Then there was the constant stupid fear that people would
» find out.Pathetic ! Wigs are no longer an option for me because of the
» scaring in the donor area.
» My only real solution is suicide & that will probably happen by the end of
» this year.Proscar has stopped working for me so I am balding again.Avodart
» isn’t available in my country & I don’t feel comfortable taking it when it
» isn’t FDA approved.The phase 3 trials end at the end of this month,if it’s
» approved I’ll try that,maybe that can Stabilize my hairloss & Stabilize my
» need to take my life.
» But for the moment,I am balding at a very fast rate,I can’t handle it.
» I have had enough.

O.K, your in trouble. It’s late at night here and I am definately (edited-NOT) going to try those silly one liners that are meant to make it all better. Remember were not going anywere and will be here over the days and months so you, me and the board can work this through.


#7

while the docs try to say they would not take on a patient who is not a good canditate for a transplant…come on,20,000 dollars , 30,000 dollars staring you in the face, what would you do

the other thing is, most of the docs out there are not good candidates to DO THE SURGERY…think about that,its even more important

» » I started a thread bellow which ESSENTIALY just asked surgeons what
» » percentage of patients had poor results. Most replies said that the
» » question was unfair because no studies had been done / it is all
» » subjective / the patient don’t keep in contact etc etc. This really
» » annoyed me and I think it paints an utterly pathetic picture of the HT
» » industry. I was quite insulting (justifiably I think) and I want use an
» » analogy to explain where I am coming from.
» »
» Marco. I know where you are comming from because I felt the very same way
» fustrated at all different opinions that I would recieve in over 15 or so
» consoltations . What I feel about hairloss boards is it is a good
» starting point to see some of the work that is out there and to most
» important to try and communicate offline if possible with the patients who
» have had positive results. While I don’t blame you for not liking the idea
» that the docs do not answer specific questions everytime a poster throws
» one at them. In my opinion they should be in doing surgery and not
» allways on the internet. If you are considering a certain doc just save
» your most important questions for the consults. Most docs will be
» availiable for at least a phone consult after viewing your fotos and like
» I said after you been in contact with a decent amount of former patients
» that are willing to share there results than you can be on your way to a
» descsion. And most important make sure the doc himself will have patients
» availiable. Good luck on your research.


#8

are you on a super hair vitamin and mineral? guys pooh pooh these and without these I would be paper thin on the sides and back, and I would be pretty much bald

Ultra Hair by Natures Plus or Maxi Hair by Country life guys who are on them agree, will make your hair healthy…before I added my natural DHT blockers to those, in 1999 i was losing 300 hairs a day, then it went down to 15 hairs a day within a month. Also are you on MSM or Horsetail? My sides and back that were paper thin are three times the thickness now and are almost like they were in high school

Some guys dont respond to my regimen but its worth a try. Widows is doig well on it, You have to experiment to see what works on you. If the meds stopped working there is still hope

are you on any natural dht blockers

what is your diet like

» I tried a wig before I had surgery,I felt like a fraud.It was also very
» uncomfortable.Then there was the constant stupid fear that people would
» find out.Pathetic ! Wigs are no longer an option for me because of the
» scaring in the donor area.
» My only real solution is suicide & that will probably happen by the end of
» this year.Proscar has stopped working for me so I am balding again.Avodart
» isn’t available in my country & I don’t feel comfortable taking it when it
» isn’t FDA approved.The phase 3 trials end at the end of this month,if it’s
» approved I’ll try that,maybe that can Stabilize my hairloss & Stabilize my
» need to take my life.
» But for the moment,I am balding at a very fast rate,I can’t handle it.
» I have had enough.


#9

» while the docs try to say they would not take on a patient who is not a
» good canditate for a transplant…come on,20,000
» dollars , 30,000 dollars staring you in the face, what would you do

You will be surprised. Many doctors have no problem saying no to 20K, 30K. I see Dr. Cole, Dr. Jones and Dr. Woods turning down prospective patients quite frequently.


#10

Probably most docs on this site, are the best of the best, so they are booked and can afford to turn away patients

im speaking of the ones with the weekend course in hair transplants,diploma

» » while the docs try to say they would not take on a patient who is not a
» » good canditate for a transplant…come
» on,20,000
» » dollars , 30,000 dollars staring you in the face, what would you do
»
»
» You will be surprised. Many doctors have no problem saying no to 20K, 30K.
» I see Dr. Cole, Dr. Jones and Dr. Woods turning down prospective patients
» quite frequently.


#11

» the other thing is, most of the docs out there are not good candidates to
» DO THE SURGERY…think about that,its even more
» important
»
»


#12

» » I tried a wig before I had surgery,I felt like a fraud.It was also very
» » uncomfortable.Then there was the constant stupid fear that people would
» » find out.Pathetic ! Wigs are no longer an option for me because of the
» » scaring in the donor area.
» » My only real solution is suicide & that will probably happen by the end
» of
» » this year.Proscar has stopped working for me so I am balding
» again.Avodart
» » isn’t available in my country & I don’t feel comfortable taking it when
» it
» » isn’t FDA approved.The phase 3 trials end at the end of this month,if
» it’s
» » approved I’ll try that,maybe that can Stabilize my hairloss & Stabilize
» my
» » need to take my life.
» » But for the moment,I am balding at a very fast rate,I can’t handle it.
» » I have had enough.
»
» O.K, your in trouble. It’s late at night here and I am definately going to
» try those silly one liners that are meant to make it all better. Remember
» were not going anywere and will be here over the days and months so you,
» me and the board can work this through.

Sorry Damon, It was late at night. I meant “I am definately NOT going to try those one liners”. It would be insulting.

Look this isn’t a one liner to make it all better but my thoughts are to get an action plan together, preferably one that doesn’t include suicide! There is nothing worse than feeling lost and a victim. The short of it is and i honestly think this is true; when a patient is butchered without due warning by the surgeon then it is as if the patient has been raped. For a guy that is a massive insult and brings on chronic fury. With nowhere to place this it then brings on times of panic and times of suicidal thoughts since you may give up that there is action that can be taken and there is no recourse to the surgeon and accepting the insult is unacceptable. With all this in mind you can beat it be happy have everything that you want but the road is long and the action plan is detailed. The detailed plan may need input and help from friends (like all of us)


#13

» Look this isn’t a one liner to make it all better but my thoughts are to
» get an action plan together, preferably one that doesn’t include suicide!
» There is nothing worse than feeling lost and a victim. The short of it is
» and i honestly think this is true; when a patient is butchered without due
» warning by the surgeon then it is as if the patient has been raped. For a
» guy that is a massive insult and brings on chronic fury. With nowhere to
» place this it then brings on times of panic and times of suicidal thoughts
» since you may give up that there is action that can be taken and there is
» no recourse to the surgeon and accepting the insult is unacceptable. With
» all this in mind you can beat it be happy have everything that you want
» but the road is long and the action plan is detailed. The detailed plan
» may need input and help from friends (like all of us)

Great comments Marco!! Damon, hang in there and come up with a plan. It won’t happen overnight and might take several (or more) years. I feel fortunate to not consider myself a transplant victim. Looking back on it, I very easily could have been. I walked away from something that would have been a total disaster. Enough about me. My point is I can only begin to empathize with your situation.

This forum is loaded with excellent doctors who can put hope back into your life. While they are interested in making money, they truly want to help. And they know what they are doing. I know it is scary because of your past situation, but try to reach out to the community of docs here at Hairsite. This is not a plug for any one doc as there are certainly 5-6 (maybe more) that I would feel completely comfortable becoming their patient.

Hang in there!


#14

»
» You will be surprised. Many doctors have no problem saying no to 20K, 30K.
» I see Dr. Cole, Dr. Jones and Dr. Woods turning down prospective patients
» quite frequently.

Agreed. The good ones are taking the long view, and want their career to have legs for a long time. It’s smarter to avoid having the bad decisions coming back to haunt you 3 or 5 or 7 years down the road.
The stellar reputations are built over time by doing consistenly good work, standing behind the work, and avoiding the overkill marketing at the beginning and throughout.