I am a 34 year old balding,scarred,humiliated loser who has never had a girlfriend & still lives with his mother.I started balding at the age of 15-16 & as a result I was humiliated throughout my high school years.This daily ritual of humiliation & fighting severely restricted my social & professional growth.
At the age of 18 I had my first strip procedure.The procedure was a small session & there really wasn’t any improvement in my appearance.Girls still wouldn’t date me and guys would continually mock me.I was so desperate that I had a larger strip procedure but the yield was very poor.Out of further desperation I foolishly had an even larger 3rd procedure & that was a complete disaster.I have been hiding under a baseball cap since my early 20’s,trying to fool myself that if I am never seen without a cap people won’t know that I am bald & scarred.I have no friends & no social life.All I have is regret & a 60 year old mother who has aged so much because of me.I have ruined her health & life.(This is unforgiveable & it’s just that I suffer)
Going to the gym is all I really have,it’s the only thing that makes me happy.I am well built & this does allot for my ever shrinking self confidence.Today whilst at the gym,my hat fell off in front of a whole bunch of people & once again I was utterly humiliated.I don’t even know how I will go back to that gym again.There are no other gyms in my area so I have the choice of going back & being humiliated or sitting at home feeling miserable. So many people saw me in the gym without my hat,I felt so vulnerable,so embarrassed & ashamed.I have been mercilessly mocked my entire bald life yet I still haven’t gotten used to it.
I am really at my wits end.I suffer from depression & I
really want to commit suicide but don’t want to hurt my poor mother anymore.
As messed up as this sounds,I sometimes hope that something will happen to her so i can end my own life.
Heart disease is hereditary in my family & I sometimes get chest pains & am often short of breath.I don’t know if i have a blocked artery or if it’s just anxiety but I am not going to the doctor for a check up because I would love to have a heart attack & die.If I die from natural causes my mum will still be destroyed but at least she will be spared from more embarrassment.
I was so certain that ICX was going to give me my life back only to be heart broken when they failed.Their idea was based on cutting edge science so I was positive I would have an entire head of hair in no time.I really got my hopes up only to be devastated.
I know the new messages here about Follica & Acell are no guarantee that I will one day get my life back but I just want to thank you guys for going out of your way to try & find a cure or find news that can give us some hope.The TV rarely reports on these sorts of things so I really appreciate you guys bombarding this board with info.I have become such a pessimistic person that I really don’t think that these things will work but I do appreciate your efforts. Please keep the information coming as it’s all I have.
I am sorry for the rant but It’s just my way of apologising in advance for the times I may leave negative or pessimistic messages here about Acell/Follica.