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First post in 10 years of watching board


#1

This is my first post and I started to coming to this forum daily in 1998. I have prayed, hoped, screamed. You name it I have done it. My hairloss pattern is absolutely terrible. To top it off I am pale and have big ears. I am in good shape and it doesn’t matter. It is like a real thin mohawk with horseshoe hair around the side and back. Somehow a couple of years ago I got an incredible girlfriend. We did everything together and then my hairloss started to get worse and she would move away from me in public. I was embarassing as she was much younger as well. This was the love of my life and she started doing everything she could to get me to break up and the better I treated her the worse she would treat me. She started making jokes about my hair. I can not tell you the depression I have been in since that ended two years ago. I want to be presentable and someone a girl can be proud of. I was set up on a blind date this week with another attractive girl. We exchanged pictures and today before the date she cancelled. shocker. So as the post below states my hopes are not up. I still pray everyday for an end to this dilemma that we all face. It is incredible how much pain we are in from this and how little anyone actually cares.


#2

» This is my first post and I started to coming to this forum daily in 1998.
» I have prayed, hoped, screamed. You name it I have done it. My hairloss
» pattern is absolutely terrible. To top it off I am pale and have big ears.
» I am in good shape and it doesn’t matter. It is like a real thin mohawk
» with horseshoe hair around the side and back. Somehow a couple of years
» ago I got an incredible girlfriend. We did everything together and then my
» hairloss started to get worse and she would move away from me in public. I
» was embarassing as she was much younger as well. This was the love of my
» life and she started doing everything she could to get me to break up and
» the better I treated her the worse she would treat me. She started making
» jokes about my hair. I can not tell you the depression I have been in
» since that ended two years ago. I want to be presentable and someone a
» girl can be proud of. I was set up on a blind date this week with another
» attractive girl. We exchanged pictures and today before the date she
» cancelled. shocker. So as the post below states my hopes are not up. I
» still pray everyday for an end to this dilemma that we all face. It is
» incredible how much pain we are in from this and how little anyone actually
» cares.

sucks i know… alot of people say why do u care so much about ur hair… the funny thing is that its ussually by either people who have hair or old people who have already lived thier lives… a girl once told me that she didnt understand why ur hair is so important and then liek a month later her hair started falling out becuase she was dying it to much… it was only then that she understood how it felt. she came to me and said ur right s h i t s horribble. and for the men who do loose thier hair and dont care well then i would say THATS YOU! NOT ME! I CARE ABOUT MY HAIR.


#3

surgeons might be able to do something about your ears…

Clark Gable taped his ears. I wonder if taping you ears back at night would eventually make them want to rest near the side of your skull?

Im pretty sure that by removing some cartilage, a plastic surgeon should be able to give someone who is “jug-earred” ears that lie normally…

On your hair…I know its tough, but you -can- take some solace in the fact your head isn’t scarred up from transplants or scalp reductions. A buzz/shave might be the best thing in the time being. WOmen pick up on it if your baldness or balding bothers you and are likely to hone in on it. I suppose the best thing you can do is act as if it doesnt bother you a bit and you are like Bruce Willis and “too masculine” to have hair or something in the time being.


#4

If your ears are the only obostacle, go and get it fixed.

Or even better, GO AND GET IT FIXED ANYWAY! The procedure exists, is simple and afordable. You can have it fixed next week.


#5

Consider Body building and rich in proteins diet …It will even enlarge your face.


#6

Now all of those are ok suggestions, but I really think this guy is more looking just to tell us about what he has gone through. Maybe some surgery might help, but it already sounds like he has gone through some pretty big confidence shattering moments. Sorry disappointed. Really though just concentrate on being a good guy and a smart girl will come your way. Hairloss definitely makes a difference with getting girls, no doubt. But, if you remain a positive, confident person and a girl feels good being around you, eventually she will realize that it is well worth it to get over some aesthetic quality. No it is unlikely to work during a blind date, but if overall you keep positive, you will be attracting girls in your day to day life. As for this “woman of your dreams”, she really wasn’t. If she is going to jump on your back for hairloss, she would have eventually done it for other reasons too. She would be unhappy with some other shortcoming (we all have them). Until she learns to get over herself, she will be constantly disappointed with the people she meets.

Ok well, I hope you have a good weekend.


#7

» Now all of those are ok suggestions, but I really think this guy is more
» looking just to tell us about what he has gone through. Maybe some surgery
» might help, but it already sounds like he has gone through some pretty big
» confidence shattering moments. Sorry disappointed. Really though just
» concentrate on being a good guy and a smart girl will come your way.
» Hairloss definitely makes a difference with getting girls, no doubt. But,
» if you remain a positive, confident person and a girl feels good being
» around you, eventually she will realize that it is well worth it to get
» over some aesthetic quality. No it is unlikely to work during a blind
» date, but if overall you keep positive, you will be attracting girls in
» your day to day life. As for this “woman of your dreams”, she really
» wasn’t. If she is going to jump on your back for hairloss, she would have
» eventually done it for other reasons too. She would be unhappy with some
» other shortcoming (we all have them). Until she learns to get over
» herself, she will be constantly disappointed with the people she meets.
»
» Ok well, I hope you have a good weekend.

Finally, a voice of reason. Thank you vtex

back to topic.
I’m truly sorry for the havoc hairloss has caused your overall quality of life. Everyone of us has been affected to one extent or another (heck, that’s why we’re here afterall). I must stress, however, that genuine people genuinely don’t care about your hairloss. That “woman of your dreams”, sounded like a nightmare; heaven forbid you got a gray hair, a wrinkle, gained a few pounds, or lost your job.

Look at the bright side.You’re not stuck with a superficial woman, and you weren’t scarred by strip surgery. You can get your ears pinned back, shave/buzz your head, and sign up for a few tanning sessions. A psychologist is also a viable option if you need some extra help. Moreso, hair research seems to be going in the right direction for the first time in quite a while. Stay positive; you’re not alone.


#8

Achieving beyond someone who put you down is the best revenge.

Imagine if you got your ears surgically pinned back a little, and then Folica turns out to have the ability to make you a NW#1. Meanwhile women don’t exactly get more attractive as they age. You could find yourself completely out of her league in a few years. What sweet revenge that would be.


#9

» Achieving beyond someone who put you down is the best revenge.
»
» Imagine if you got your ears surgically pinned back a little, and then
» Folica turns out to have the ability to make you a NW#1. Meanwhile women
» don’t exactly get more attractive as they age. You could find yourself
» completely out of her league in a few years. What sweet revenge that would
» be.

I know that this really isn’t a moral support board but these last few posts are the most encouraging words I have heard in years. I have always maintained hope and everytime I come to this board I pray something will work. Hopefully this nightmare will come to an end soon. I will turn 37 in August and have battled this since I was 19. Again, thank you.


#10

I will turn 37
» in August and have battled this since I was 19. Again, thank you.

The same story again and again , damn ! What a feeling of “deja vu” when hearing any MPB story.Sometimes when I see all those obese people and smokers crying everywhere about their problems and all those shows and diets designed to help them I laugh! I say “God just give me their problem” just give me a problem that I’ll be responsible of and that I can resolve or get it worst with my own decision. I know of course that Humans have a tendancy to minimize the gravity of others problems and amplify their’s but O sure I’ll be more than happy to trade my problem with something that I’ll be accountable of. When I see those people wining about how much they like sugar foods or how tough sport exercices are in those cheap shows I say “O God do they really know what life is?”. I’m a big fan of chocolate almost an expert yet I swear I’ll be more than happy to forget its taste and the taste of every sugar food and everything else if that would give me my hair.

Morality of the story man. Life reserved this tough challenge to us !as unfortunate as it may sound ! thats it. Finally, do you know what is even worst ? life reserved even toughest challenges for other people : like Cancer or infertility or blindness…


#11

I share your disappointment & frustrations.I have been waiting for many years for a miracle as well,only to watch my entire life past me by.I really wish I had some positive news to give you,something that will boost your spirits but I don’t.All i can do is tell you to wait & hope.

Yes this isn’t a support forum but there are some great guys here all of whom are willing to listen & talk to you.You & I are very much alike & I am willing to talk to you about personal stuff anytime you want.


#12

Hey man,

I’m sorry about your girl (they can be real heartless sometimes).

First of all, while there is no cure yet, look at the progress we have made in the last ten years and that alone should get your spirits up. Of course there is a chance that a cure won’t come, but looking at what has happened in only ten years, it seems a reasonable and well backed philosophy to hope for a cure.

But while your waiting, don’t get down, just look at what you can do right now. Look the best you can (that’s all that anyone can do anyway). You can shave your head, so you don’t have the horseshoe-look and if your worried about being too pale, just get some tanning lotion (my ex-girlfriend sometimes used it, and that stuff has gotten a lot less orange in the last few years). Also keep in mind that while there are people out there like your girlfriend who may dump you because of your hair, that’s not everyone. Give nice girls a chance.

I don’t know if you have problems with girls now, but if you do, then read below. I know you are older than I am, and I’m not trying to be patronizing, but I think maybe some of my own experience might be able to help you. Sometimes you can learn things about yourself and about women in couple of years, which you might not have realized for the previous 20. I used to have real problems with girls, and it took me until only a few years ago to work out these problems, but I did…And I’m happy to say that while I’m not a playboy, I have no problem getting a couple dates a week (probably more than half don’t work out, but that’s the point…You wait for the ones that do. :ok:

I know many guys will say that it’s way too hard to get girls when your bald. I know for a fact that, this is (bullpoo). I used to have a really hard time with girls, and people would say, ‘just work on your personality’. I thought they were were just trying to cheer me up but didn’t really believe this, so I would blame my bad luck with girls on something that was wrong with my looks (like I’m a little to short, or my nose isn’t perfectly symmetrical, or my teeth weren’t to white), and it made me miserable. But over the last few years I have learned some things about girls.

  1. They pick up on every little insecurity you’re feeling, or if you try to hide your insecurities it can sometimes make them worse (for example, I used to be very nervous when talking to girls, so I would try to cover this insecurity by acting like I wasn’t too interested in them, which would sometimes work, but generally they just thought I was an a55). What I finally realized is that the problem, was not my looks (although if you asked me three years ago I would have said I was 100% sure it was).
    This, in itself, should give you more confidence because if you think that girls are judging your personality and not only your looks, you will find less of a need to feel insecure, and then girls will have no weakness to pick up on.

  2. They care about confidence and cockiness just as much (some girls more, some less) as looks.

  3. Even if your Johnny Depp, you can still find a few of girls that don’t like you. Not every girl is going to like you. It might not be because your bald, it could be because you’re too nice and they like ‘A - holes’, you’re too mean and they like nice guys, or even because some girls like guys who look exotic and some girls like light skinned men and some like dark skinned men. There are many reasons a girl might not like you and for some of them, if the girl told you, you might not even take them personally (like you remind her too much of her dad or her ex).

  4. The main point is confidence, if you’re confident you can find girls. This is probably something that many people have told you, but may have dismissed. But take it from me, as someone who used to be bad with girls and is now (while not amazing) pretty fing good, that confidence matters. If you think it doesn’t then it’s probably because you have gone out trying to act confident and failed anyway with girls. There are one of two explanations for this problem:

    1. You can’t base such an experience on just 1, 2 or even 10 girls (they could just happen to be the wrong 10)
    1. Thinking that you are acting confident and acting confident are sometimes VERY VERY different things. It’s something you have to work on, and eventually it will get easier and you will actually become more confident, but until you have the confidence be prepared to be rejected sometimes. Once you have confidence you won’t mind being rejected and you can more on real quick and find a date.

I hope this may have helped, but if you were looking more for just outlook about progress in the area of hair loss, than I wouldn’t be too pessimistic, just do what you can now…And then something will probably come along to save your hair when you’re least expecting it. Don’t expect a miracle this year (or you’ll be real upset when nothing happens by December), but don’t get down either, keep your hopes up and have faith in bureaucratically-driven science.:smiley: